I thought I would let Carlos sweat for a bit! I wonder how he will feel about having a lunatic for a brother-in-law and the fact that I am about to turn up at his hotel and drag him back to England?
Hello Carlos my wonderful and understanding fiance.
Oh what a day monday turned out to be! I went for my hospital appointment at 9:30am like I told you. All is well with my stump. It's healed really well and within a few weeks I should be able to start wearing a false foot. I am thinking about having one with both our names inscribed on it. How romantic would that be eh Carlos?
Anyway after the hospital I made my way to the prison where my brother John is currently incarcerated. I do try to get to visit him as often as possible but haven't been for a while due to the pig/foot related incident. He was overjoyed to see me Carlos, he always is. He does love his little sister!! I told him all about you Carlos, how wonderful you are, how virile and Mexican. I was full of excitement about our upcoming wedding and told John all about my plans, me in my huge , floaty dress and you in your top hat and tails.
Well, what happened next was somewhat of a surprise! He became very very angry Carlos. John started hitting his fists against the table and saying that he hated you. "No greasy mexican man is taking my sister away from me." I was shocked! I asked him to calm down but he just got more and more irate. The next minute, he stood up and flung the table up in the air and started screaming that he was going to kill you! I tried to explain that I wouldn't be going anywhere and that you would come to live with me and that all woud be fine. Well Carlos, he was not having any of it! He went completely insane, throwing chairs and tables about and running around like a lunatic. He then made a lunge for me, grabbing me and dragging me into a corner shouting "You're mine! No-one is taking you away from me." I was terrified Carlos. He is my brother and I love him dearly but I was scared.
The prison guards ushered everyone else out of the visiting room and called for the govenor to come and try and resolve the situation. He sat and talked to him but he wouldn't let me go. He then started rambling on and on about the aliens again and how you were an alien and not really a mexican love god. He said he'd had a vision that you'd been sent to earth to mate with me and produce half alien half human babies that were destined to take over the world. He was saying such dreadful things. It was terrible to hear and upset me greatly. Well we sat there for hours and hours with him muttering on and on. Then the strangest thing happened. The one window in the visiting room looks out onto a large grassed area. Two dogs wandered across the grass, sniffing each other and playing a game of chase. Then as dogs often do, one mounted the other and started humping it! John saw this out of the corner of his eye and started to giggle. He let go of me, jumped up and ran to the window. "Look, dogs humping!" he shouted, laughing as he said it! That's the thing with humping dogs, you don't want to look but you are compelled to do so and I defy anyone not to laugh!! So, as John stood there giggling like a child, the guards managed to overpower him and drag me to safety. To say I was relieved was an understatement.
The guards were ever so nice to me. They made me a cup of tea and even gave me a bun to go with it. John now has to undergo a series of psychological assesments and may have to be moved to a top security phsychiatric institution for his own safety. I forgive him though and understand his jealousy as I am all he has left in the world. I do hope having a dangerous, mentally unstable brother in law won't put you off marrying me Carlos.
I was quite shaken up after the whole incident and have decided that I could do with a short holiday. So guess what Carlos? I have decided to kill two birds with one stone and come out to Senegal!! Yes Carlos, I am coming out there to be with you!! I have booked my plane ticket. I leave London Heathrow at 10:25am tomorrow and arrive in Dakar at 19:45. As I have the address of the hotel you are staying in, I shall make my way there to come and be with you!! I will pay your outstanding bill and then we can transfer back to the Raddisson Blu hotel that you were previously staying in as that sould much nicer. I thought I may stay for 5 days so we are both booked on the 10:17am flight back home on Thursday. I am just so excited Carlos. Finally we get to meet! I have printed off the pictures you sent me so I know who I am looking for! I really hope you will be wearing your cowboy hat as I find you utterly irresistable in it!!
So there you go Carlos, finally, tomorrow we will be in each others arms where we belong. It's been a long time coming but it feels so right. I know we will be good together and that this is just the start of something wonderful.
See you tomorrow Carlos!!!
All my love Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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