I hate hummus!!!!
My darling Carlos.
I do apologise for my delay in replying to your last email. I had a bit of a mishap on wednesday morning which landed me in hospital until this morning. Sometime I think I must be the unluckiest person alive! It's a good job I have a positive outlook on life or I would have had a breakdown by now!
My heating boiler had broken so my house was rather cold. I had called the engineer on Tuesday and made an appointment for the following afternoon so I wasn't overly concerned. Wednesday evening I was hosting a dinner party for some potential new business connections so made an early start on the food preparation. Dips always go down well at such soiree's so I decided to make some hummus. Do you like hummus Carlos? In light of what has happened, I don't think I shall ever eat it again. Anyway, I gathered the chickpeas, tahini, garlic, lemon juice and oil and set to work. As I was putting the chickpeas into the blender a couple escaped and dropped to the floor. I thought, "I'll pick those up later." and that my dear, was a near fatal error of judgement. I made the hummus which it galls me to say was utterly delicious and then made a start on some Mexican bean pasta (always reminds me of you when I eat that!!). I spent the next hour or so cooking this and that and then decided it was time for a bit of pampering.
Thankfully, in light of my recent pig related accident, I have a downstairs bathroom so off I popped to do a bit of intimate hair removal and the likes. First I put on a clay face mask, the type that dries hard and makes you look like ghost then got the hair removing wax out. I balanced on the side of the bath and put the hot wax on my legs and lady bits! (hope that doesn't embarrass you Carlos, me talking about my most intimate lady parts) I needed to let the wax set a bit before applying the strips and ripping it off so I hobbled back into the kitchen on my crutches to get a quick drink before my face pack set too hard. By this time I had completely forgotten about the chickpeas that had fallen to the floor earlier and unfortunately, one of my crutches made contact with them. The crutch slipped on the chickpeas and sent me flying across the kitchen floor in a move reminiscent Ann Widdecombe doing her very best on Strictly come dancing. I landed face down on the floor and thankfully didn't hurt myself. Now this was when it all became a bit tricky.
I have a beautiful, Italian marble tiled floor in the kitchen. Have you ever felt marble Carlos? It is notorious for it's icey cold touch and the tiles in my kitchen were even more so due to the lack of heating with the boiler being broken. As my exposed, wax covered flesh made contact with the tiles, the wax quickly changed temperture and began to set. Since my previous accident with the pigs, I am obviously not as mobile as I used to be so was struggling to get myself back up off the floor. My crutches had both gone sliding across the floor when I fell and were out of my reach. As I tried to pull myself up, I encountered a great deal of resistance. Carlos, the wax had set and I was stuck to the floor! I couldn't move the lower half of my body, my lady garden being firmly stuck to the tiles. I tried and tried but alas, all my efforts were in vain. All I could do was lay there, hoping that maybe a kindly neighbour would hear my cries for help and come to my rescue.
I laid there for 2 and a half hours in the cold with nothing but the Greatest Poems of Pam Ayres as chosen and read by Janet Street Porter on Radio 4 for company. I had forgotten what a work of utter genius "I wish I'd looked after me teeth" is!! Then my saviour arrived in the form of the boiler engineer. Thankfully he heard my cries for help and saw me laid prostrate on the Italian marble, backside in the air and a face that made me look like an extra from Casper the friendly ghost!. He rushed in and cleverly used my hair dryer to melt the wax and free me from my embarrassment. He was such a dear and insisted that I go to hospital for a check up as by now, my skin was red raw and I was suffering from mild hypothermia. The hospital staf were amazing and kept me in until the morning to make sure I was fully recovered. The boiler man, bless him, went back to the house and sorted the boiler for me. I told him to help himself to the hummus as I felt physically sick at the thought of eating it now.
So Carlos, I am back home now a little sore and with a bruised ego but doing ok. I hope your trip is continuing to be fruitful and that you are not making yourself too tired. If you need to relax and switch off at the end of a busy day, I can thoroughly reccommend reading a bit of Pam Ayres. She truely is a lyrical genius!
Hope to hear from you soon my darling.
Love and kisses a plenty from your darling Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Showing posts with label foot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foot. Show all posts
Friday, 20 January 2012
Monday, 9 January 2012
Showcasing my first leg - a message to Carlos
I thought I should get round to replying to Carlos seeing as he is so very keen. I have explained that I am a busy woman so I do hope he will be a bit more patient with me now. I have also sent him a picture of my first false leg produced by my new company. I hope he likes it!!
Good afternoon my gorgeous, darling Carlos!
Oh how my heart leapt when I read your mail this morning. It made me want to do a little dance but that is a bit difficult on crutches so I just swayed a round a little instead.
I know that I sometimes take a little time to reply to you but this is because I am often very busy. I now run 2 businesses and still have many hospital appointments to attend so my time is often sparse and I get tired pretty easily. I promise to make more of an effort to reply quicker.
So Carlos, how is life in Chesterfield these days? Where abouts in Chesterfield do you live? I don't know Chesterfield that well but have visited the church with the twisted spire a couple of times.
Well things are going really well with my new venture. Production of my first leg is now complete and to say I am proud is an understatement! I have attached a picture so you can see how spectacular it is. I just wish you were here with me right now to share in my joy Carlos.
Oh Carlos, I long for you to hold me in your arms and make me yours completely. When do you think it will be possible for us to meet? We are so near yet so far. I NEED you Carlos, I really do. I have urges and needs and my worry is that if we don't meet up soon, my urges will have to be fullfilled elsewhere. I am desperate for some of your manly loving Carlos, please come and take me!!
I have to go now my darling as I have an urgent business call to take. I shall try and email you again later ok so please don't fret. I love you dearly and would never lose contact.
All my love, passion and desire
Your ever loving Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Good afternoon my gorgeous, darling Carlos!
Oh how my heart leapt when I read your mail this morning. It made me want to do a little dance but that is a bit difficult on crutches so I just swayed a round a little instead.
I know that I sometimes take a little time to reply to you but this is because I am often very busy. I now run 2 businesses and still have many hospital appointments to attend so my time is often sparse and I get tired pretty easily. I promise to make more of an effort to reply quicker.
So Carlos, how is life in Chesterfield these days? Where abouts in Chesterfield do you live? I don't know Chesterfield that well but have visited the church with the twisted spire a couple of times.
Well things are going really well with my new venture. Production of my first leg is now complete and to say I am proud is an understatement! I have attached a picture so you can see how spectacular it is. I just wish you were here with me right now to share in my joy Carlos.
Oh Carlos, I long for you to hold me in your arms and make me yours completely. When do you think it will be possible for us to meet? We are so near yet so far. I NEED you Carlos, I really do. I have urges and needs and my worry is that if we don't meet up soon, my urges will have to be fullfilled elsewhere. I am desperate for some of your manly loving Carlos, please come and take me!!
I have to go now my darling as I have an urgent business call to take. I shall try and email you again later ok so please don't fret. I love you dearly and would never lose contact.
All my love, passion and desire
Your ever loving Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, 7 January 2012
A message from Carlos - he is so full of love for me!
He's a bit of a soppy one is Carlos, lots of talk about love and all the rubbish!! It would just be my luck that he will turn out to be the one who isn't a scammer and how bad would I feel then eh? I do wish he wouldn't keep calling me Babe all the time. How insensitive! Hasn't he ever seen the film ' Babe - Pig in the city'?
Hello Sweetie,
Thank you so much for your wonderful mail,i am so glad to read from you, knowing the fact that we have our challenges in 2011 but with the hope and focus that 2012 will be a greater year for us, i know you had your trying time last year, but 2011 is gone, so get out of the past and let your focus be on 2012 because your future is more expensive than your past lol, well one of the greatest thing that happen to me in 2011 was having the opportunity to get to know you, you may not really know what that really mean to me but with time you will get to know, i have lived my recent years a lonely man and the moment you walk into my life you make the difference and i felt that greater impact i just pray that it last for eternity.With this little time we have spent on here you have simply shown to me that the entire responsibility of a man is to love a woman and guess what nothing can be greater thank these.thank you so much for loving me,
I think the modeling idea is good, but i wouldn't be considering that for now, based on my kind of person and the nature of my work, more so is not something i will do alone we need to sit down and talk about it, as husband and wife and if we think it will be good for us then we can go for that, but that aside for the moment.well concerning the contract i am yet to hear from the construction company but i think they will get back to me soon, i just want to keep my faith alive and always remember to put me in prayers.
Babe i think you have a great job that will give you the opportunity to meet different people and sincerely that is great, people around you are always an asset, is very good,honey i think you have a great friends around you, you know i have this mentality that if anyone should give you anything even if it is little it is a prove that the person is thinking of you, which is so magnificent, moreover i think you have been good to them too as friends if not they wouldn't have thought of that, i am happy you had a pleasant Christmas.
Babe about your leg just be calm and take your time till it gets better then you can do whatever you have to do, the time you have spent waiting for it to get back normal is shorter than when you had the problem, you will be alright soon babe and i can't wait to get to meet you and watch you walk right into my arms,please send me your picture so that i can always look your face whenever i am missing you,also send me your phone number so that i can call you,if i have anyone that needed that left shoe i will send you an email okay.take care of yourself for me sweetie and have a blessed moment.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
A message to Carlos - The StumpMobile!
I thought I had better reply to Carlos and wish him a Happy New Year after him being so keen and all that. I enquire about his job hunting and tell him all about my least favourite job as an armpit sniffer!
Carlos, my darling Carlos!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I sincerely hope that 2012 will bring you love, luck and happiness in abundance! 2011 wasn't the best year for me, especially considering the pig and foot incident but on the plus side, I did find you! I have a feeling that my life will just get better and better from now on. I now have the love of a good man (you) whom I hope to meet sometime in the very near future and a new business that is already taking the artificial limb world by storm, can it get any better?
So Carlos, have you had any luck on the job front yet? You did say you were waiting to hear about one but that was a while ago. Any news yet? I am sure a man with your handsome Mexican good looks and virile nature could easily find work as a male model. Would you ever consider becoming a model? I have a friend with an interest in nude and fetish photography who is always looking for new subjects. I could put a good word in for you if you like? You may be required to wear stockings and lipstick but the pay is good.
I have had some strange jobs in my time Carlos! I think the worst one has to be the year I spent as quality control in a deoderant factory. We had a variety of people of all shapes and sizes, ages and social status who would come to us to help test the products. First they had to shower then go to the spray room. Their armpits were sprayed with the relevant deoderant and they were then sent to be dressed. They were then made to undergo a series of activities such as vigerous exercise, sauna room, dancing to wild ska music or half an hour under a sun bed. They were then required to strip and were sent to me in the sniffing parlour (or snifferarium as I affectionately called it!) My job was to take a thorough sniff of their armpits to asses whether the deoderant was up to scratch. I had to give each person marks out of ten for odour, wetness and marks on their clothes. Each one was a blind test so I had no idea which spray had been used. Sometimes as a joke, if a particularily heafty man would participate, the sprayers would just spray him with water under his arms so by the time he got to me, he would stink to high heaven. Now some people may find that attractive in a man but not me. I am not some kind of pervert or deviant!! One of my fellow sniffers used to get very excited when smelling the pungent armpits of elderly ladies. He got the sack eventually when the bosses spotted the webcam he had hooked up in the snifferaruim. Oh dear! It takes all sorts I suppose!!
Did I tell you about my surprise Xmas present from my friends? A group of my close friends had a bit of a whip round and bought me a mobility scooter as a present. Isn't that kind? I can't have my new foot fitted until my leg has healed properly which may be some months yet. So now I whizz round town on my 'StumpMobile'!! They even had it pimped up for me!! It is bright metalic purple and in neon pink letters down the sides it says 'StumpMobile'. It is covered in silver stars and even has an airhorn fitted that plays 'Stomp' by the legendary pop group Steps! Whilst not being a massive Steps fan, Stomp was the nearest tune they could get to stump so I appreciate the sentiment. I feel I am truley blessed to have such amazing friends.
Right Carlos, the torrential rain has now stopped here in Slutsbury so I am off for a whizz round town. I really hope to hear from you soon my darling and hope your next mail brings good news on the job front for you.
All my love to you Carlos
From your devoted stumpy Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS Do you know anyone who would like to buy a job lot of womens left shoes?
Carlos, my darling Carlos!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I sincerely hope that 2012 will bring you love, luck and happiness in abundance! 2011 wasn't the best year for me, especially considering the pig and foot incident but on the plus side, I did find you! I have a feeling that my life will just get better and better from now on. I now have the love of a good man (you) whom I hope to meet sometime in the very near future and a new business that is already taking the artificial limb world by storm, can it get any better?
So Carlos, have you had any luck on the job front yet? You did say you were waiting to hear about one but that was a while ago. Any news yet? I am sure a man with your handsome Mexican good looks and virile nature could easily find work as a male model. Would you ever consider becoming a model? I have a friend with an interest in nude and fetish photography who is always looking for new subjects. I could put a good word in for you if you like? You may be required to wear stockings and lipstick but the pay is good.
I have had some strange jobs in my time Carlos! I think the worst one has to be the year I spent as quality control in a deoderant factory. We had a variety of people of all shapes and sizes, ages and social status who would come to us to help test the products. First they had to shower then go to the spray room. Their armpits were sprayed with the relevant deoderant and they were then sent to be dressed. They were then made to undergo a series of activities such as vigerous exercise, sauna room, dancing to wild ska music or half an hour under a sun bed. They were then required to strip and were sent to me in the sniffing parlour (or snifferarium as I affectionately called it!) My job was to take a thorough sniff of their armpits to asses whether the deoderant was up to scratch. I had to give each person marks out of ten for odour, wetness and marks on their clothes. Each one was a blind test so I had no idea which spray had been used. Sometimes as a joke, if a particularily heafty man would participate, the sprayers would just spray him with water under his arms so by the time he got to me, he would stink to high heaven. Now some people may find that attractive in a man but not me. I am not some kind of pervert or deviant!! One of my fellow sniffers used to get very excited when smelling the pungent armpits of elderly ladies. He got the sack eventually when the bosses spotted the webcam he had hooked up in the snifferaruim. Oh dear! It takes all sorts I suppose!!
Did I tell you about my surprise Xmas present from my friends? A group of my close friends had a bit of a whip round and bought me a mobility scooter as a present. Isn't that kind? I can't have my new foot fitted until my leg has healed properly which may be some months yet. So now I whizz round town on my 'StumpMobile'!! They even had it pimped up for me!! It is bright metalic purple and in neon pink letters down the sides it says 'StumpMobile'. It is covered in silver stars and even has an airhorn fitted that plays 'Stomp' by the legendary pop group Steps! Whilst not being a massive Steps fan, Stomp was the nearest tune they could get to stump so I appreciate the sentiment. I feel I am truley blessed to have such amazing friends.
Right Carlos, the torrential rain has now stopped here in Slutsbury so I am off for a whizz round town. I really hope to hear from you soon my darling and hope your next mail brings good news on the job front for you.
All my love to you Carlos
From your devoted stumpy Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS Do you know anyone who would like to buy a job lot of womens left shoes?
Friday, 30 December 2011
A reply from Carlos - He is so scare about animal.
After breaking my tragic news to Carlos about losing my foot to a bunch of marauding pigs, all he can say is that I should give glory to God!! How about a bit of sympathy eh Carlos?!! He does say his love for me is unconditional (even without 2 of my toes) so I guess I should be grateful for that!
Hello Sweetie,
How is life treating you there? I am sorry for what happened to you this is a sad experience,i was thinking that you no longer interested that is why you kept silent but is now clear to me what happen,you were so lucky one thing i know in this life is that things happen for a purpose so we can't question God for it,i know for sure that what happened to you will bring happiness to your life. I am happy for what you said about Losing your foot has given you an idea for a new business. I am so scare about animal because i feel they hurt easily, well all i can say is for you to give glory to God.
I want you to know that when i love i love completely so nothing will change my mind,the love i have for you is unconditional love, so losing 2 of your toes is never a barrier,in as much i love so i will continue to love you till the end. Always remember that no matter the circumstances i will always be there for you.This is all i can say for now.
Hug and kisses,
Carlos.
Hello Sweetie,
How is life treating you there? I am sorry for what happened to you this is a sad experience,i was thinking that you no longer interested that is why you kept silent but is now clear to me what happen,you were so lucky one thing i know in this life is that things happen for a purpose so we can't question God for it,i know for sure that what happened to you will bring happiness to your life. I am happy for what you said about Losing your foot has given you an idea for a new business. I am so scare about animal because i feel they hurt easily, well all i can say is for you to give glory to God.
I want you to know that when i love i love completely so nothing will change my mind,the love i have for you is unconditional love, so losing 2 of your toes is never a barrier,in as much i love so i will continue to love you till the end. Always remember that no matter the circumstances i will always be there for you.This is all i can say for now.
Hug and kisses,
Carlos.
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
A message to Carlos - could he ever love a wonky woman?
I thought it was about time that Carlos knew the full extent of my tragic accident. I just hope he can find it in his heart to sill love me now I am minus a foot.
My dearest darling Carlos.
I do hope you can forgive me for my prolonged absence from contacting you. The last few weeks have been an utter nightmare Carlos, only thoughts of you have kept me sane. Had it not been for a picture of you that I keep in my purse, I fear I would have gone insane. Being able to look at your gorgeous face made me keep fighting and kept my spirits up.
I did send you a quick email explaining that I had had an accident and would reply later and I never did. For this I apologise. This is because I was taken back into hospital and had no interent access.
I shall now explain the awful details of what happened to me.
Remember I told you all about the sheep refuge that I help out at? The refuge had a call about some sheep that were no longer being productive in the wool department and were being sent to slaughter. They agreed that they would collect and home them at the refuge and asked me if I would drive the van to pick them up. As I had a free afternoon I said I would. I do so like to help out when I can :) Sadly, my giving nature was to become my downfall.
I safely loaded the sheep into the special van and made sure they were secured into their individual harnesses. I thought I would just have a 5 minute sit down before setting off and eat my sandwhich I had made for my lunch. It can be quite hard work loading the sheep as they are feisty little things! I spotted some pigs in pen further across the farm yard so went to have a little look. I do love pigs Carlos! Their snubby little noses and piggy eyes are just so adorable don't you think? The pigs all came rushing towards the fence when they saw me approach and I just couldn't help but climb into their pen to give them a fuss. Sometimes I am just too soft for my own good lol! Being the softy that I am, I ended up sharing my sandwhich with them. Who'd have thought that pigs would like hummous, grated carrot and chinese leaf? Anyway, the pigs seemed starving so I thought I would go back to the van and get some more bits of food for them ( there was a stash of crisps, biscuits and canapes left by the last driver) As I climbed over the fence, my left foot became wedged between the bars and I fell forward. I must have hit my head and knocked myself unconscious as I cannot remember anything of what happened next.
I awoke sometime later to find myself with my foot still stuck in the fence but in extreme agony. I could barely belive what I was seeing! The pigs were eating my foot! They had chewed clean through my boot and made a meal of my poor foot. I had lost 2 and a half toes, most of my heel and the ball of by foot was now a gaping hole! I cannot even begin to describe the pain I was in. I managed to get my phone out of my pocket and call an ambulance. I was drifiting in and out of consciousness, helpless and alone Carlos. I was so very scared. Oh Carlos, I though I was going to die. The ambulance men managed to distract the pigs by throwing some apples into their pen and as they all rushed to eat them, they freed my foot and dragged me to safety. They gave me morphine for the pain and rushed me to hospital. On the way there, they told me how lucky I was. I can tell you that I didn't feel very lucky! Apparently, an old lady had been eaten by pigs on her way home from playing bingo so I guess I had a pretty lucky escape. Here is a link to the story in the news.
Woman eaten by pig
Anyway, to cut a long story short, the doctors were marvelous. They patched up my foot and assured me that all would be well. Unfortunately, it became badly infected and had to be amputated. I know this must come as a terrible shock to you Carlos. I have now had time to come to terms with my fate and the sad fact that I shall be a one footed woman for the rest of my life. The big question is, Carlos, my darling Carlos, could you ever truely love a lady who has only one foot? Could you want to spend your life with a wonky woman, a hobbling girl? The thought of you and I living our lives together eventually has given me hope. I know you are a true gentleman Carlos, a man of his word, an honest and noble man. I just pray that you don't turn your back on me now that I am no longer complete. Losing my foot changes nothing. I am still a woman of passion and need a man like you in my life Carlos.
Losing my foot has given me an idea for a new business too so it's not all bad. False limbs are just so ugly! I intend working with some local designers and poets to produce a range of beautiful to look at, false limbs for the more descerning amputee. "Poetic, Aesthetic Prosthetics" will combine high end design with inspirational text to produce a beautiful yet practical prosthetics. My mind is a whirl of ideas and I feel exciting times ahead Carlos, I really do! Who would have thought that such a tragic accident could lead to such an amazing money making opportunity? Heather Mills (the ex Mrs Paul McCartney) has already said that she would love to be a spokesperson on our behalf and Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen has agreed to allow us to use some of their lyrics on our limbs. Can you imagine the lyrics from 'Let's get rocked', expertly hand painted on a leg?
"Oh, all I wanna do is take a ride into the blue
Ev'ry time I want to love you I get stuck inside my room
Heaven knows I'm sick'n'tired of dancin' with this broom "
Inspirational stuff eh?
Well my darling, I have to go and do my physiotherapy now. I am determined to keep going and not be brought down by this. Pigs may have taken my foot but they will never take my fighting spirit or dignity! NEVER!!
I can't wait to hear from you again Carlos, I love and miss you so very very much.
All my love and devotion
Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS You're not an acrotomophile by any chance are you?
I do hope you can forgive me for my prolonged absence from contacting you. The last few weeks have been an utter nightmare Carlos, only thoughts of you have kept me sane. Had it not been for a picture of you that I keep in my purse, I fear I would have gone insane. Being able to look at your gorgeous face made me keep fighting and kept my spirits up.
I did send you a quick email explaining that I had had an accident and would reply later and I never did. For this I apologise. This is because I was taken back into hospital and had no interent access.
I shall now explain the awful details of what happened to me.
Remember I told you all about the sheep refuge that I help out at? The refuge had a call about some sheep that were no longer being productive in the wool department and were being sent to slaughter. They agreed that they would collect and home them at the refuge and asked me if I would drive the van to pick them up. As I had a free afternoon I said I would. I do so like to help out when I can :) Sadly, my giving nature was to become my downfall.
I safely loaded the sheep into the special van and made sure they were secured into their individual harnesses. I thought I would just have a 5 minute sit down before setting off and eat my sandwhich I had made for my lunch. It can be quite hard work loading the sheep as they are feisty little things! I spotted some pigs in pen further across the farm yard so went to have a little look. I do love pigs Carlos! Their snubby little noses and piggy eyes are just so adorable don't you think? The pigs all came rushing towards the fence when they saw me approach and I just couldn't help but climb into their pen to give them a fuss. Sometimes I am just too soft for my own good lol! Being the softy that I am, I ended up sharing my sandwhich with them. Who'd have thought that pigs would like hummous, grated carrot and chinese leaf? Anyway, the pigs seemed starving so I thought I would go back to the van and get some more bits of food for them ( there was a stash of crisps, biscuits and canapes left by the last driver) As I climbed over the fence, my left foot became wedged between the bars and I fell forward. I must have hit my head and knocked myself unconscious as I cannot remember anything of what happened next.
I awoke sometime later to find myself with my foot still stuck in the fence but in extreme agony. I could barely belive what I was seeing! The pigs were eating my foot! They had chewed clean through my boot and made a meal of my poor foot. I had lost 2 and a half toes, most of my heel and the ball of by foot was now a gaping hole! I cannot even begin to describe the pain I was in. I managed to get my phone out of my pocket and call an ambulance. I was drifiting in and out of consciousness, helpless and alone Carlos. I was so very scared. Oh Carlos, I though I was going to die. The ambulance men managed to distract the pigs by throwing some apples into their pen and as they all rushed to eat them, they freed my foot and dragged me to safety. They gave me morphine for the pain and rushed me to hospital. On the way there, they told me how lucky I was. I can tell you that I didn't feel very lucky! Apparently, an old lady had been eaten by pigs on her way home from playing bingo so I guess I had a pretty lucky escape. Here is a link to the story in the news.
Woman eaten by pig
Anyway, to cut a long story short, the doctors were marvelous. They patched up my foot and assured me that all would be well. Unfortunately, it became badly infected and had to be amputated. I know this must come as a terrible shock to you Carlos. I have now had time to come to terms with my fate and the sad fact that I shall be a one footed woman for the rest of my life. The big question is, Carlos, my darling Carlos, could you ever truely love a lady who has only one foot? Could you want to spend your life with a wonky woman, a hobbling girl? The thought of you and I living our lives together eventually has given me hope. I know you are a true gentleman Carlos, a man of his word, an honest and noble man. I just pray that you don't turn your back on me now that I am no longer complete. Losing my foot changes nothing. I am still a woman of passion and need a man like you in my life Carlos.
Losing my foot has given me an idea for a new business too so it's not all bad. False limbs are just so ugly! I intend working with some local designers and poets to produce a range of beautiful to look at, false limbs for the more descerning amputee. "Poetic, Aesthetic Prosthetics" will combine high end design with inspirational text to produce a beautiful yet practical prosthetics. My mind is a whirl of ideas and I feel exciting times ahead Carlos, I really do! Who would have thought that such a tragic accident could lead to such an amazing money making opportunity? Heather Mills (the ex Mrs Paul McCartney) has already said that she would love to be a spokesperson on our behalf and Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen has agreed to allow us to use some of their lyrics on our limbs. Can you imagine the lyrics from 'Let's get rocked', expertly hand painted on a leg?
"Oh, all I wanna do is take a ride into the blue
Ev'ry time I want to love you I get stuck inside my room
Heaven knows I'm sick'n'tired of dancin' with this broom "
Inspirational stuff eh?
Well my darling, I have to go and do my physiotherapy now. I am determined to keep going and not be brought down by this. Pigs may have taken my foot but they will never take my fighting spirit or dignity! NEVER!!
I can't wait to hear from you again Carlos, I love and miss you so very very much.
All my love and devotion
Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS You're not an acrotomophile by any chance are you?
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