He's questioning my love for him - a message from Carlos.

How very dare he!! Carlos is questioning  my love for him because I asked him to do a runner from the hotel. The cheek of the man!!

Hello Sweetie,

Thanks for your mail,i am happy that the church community dig you out of snow,this year weather is so terrible.The number i gave you is very correct you have to check what you are dialing to see if you are dialing the right number i gave you.Honey why do you suggest that i should run away over night? I can't do this i have to pay for whatever i use,i am not that type of a man will reap from someone's sweat i don't do that,by suggesting this, that means you are not ready to help me,why should i run to the airport without having my ticket on my hand? Honey this is not a good suggestion for me,i have to pay my hotel bill and get a return ticket back to the UK. this is our plan why are you trying to suggest another thing that wont work? I am a man that have fear of God irrespective of what i am passing through here. I have a question for you,does that mean you find it so difficult to help me pay my hotel bill? I explain to you about the present situation of this country and i have to leave here before the election time otherwise i will be in danger. Please do something about this so that i can  go back. Honey do you really love me? I ask for your phone number and you didn't give me,please let me have your phone number if truly you love me. Looking forward to your mail.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A message from Carlos - his life is in danger.

How very fortuitous for Carlos that there are riots in Senegal. He couldn't have timed it better really could he?  So, his life is in danger and he needs me to bail him out!  He's going to have a long wait! Ooh Iam a hard hearted bitch!

Hello Sweetie,

Thanks for your quick response,Senegal is not a safe place now due to ongoing riot,all the embassies are warning their citizen to avoid traveling to Senegal throughout this month because the election will take place on 26th of this month and a lots of things may happen,honey i am afraid now because it seems my life is in danger so i do like to leave here now,please do something about quickly about my hotel bill and my air ticket so that i can go back to the UK. I told the hotel manager that my wife promise to send the money to his account and this morning he said he has given me enough time,i must pay my bill and check out,honey it seems that i am joking with him you know  African mentality is too low,please save me from this embarrassment.I can't wait to be with you.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.   

A reply to Carlos.

A quick reply to Carlos telling him I am no longer flying out to see him :(

Dear Carlos.

I have just checked my emails before bed and it is a good job I did too. The situation out there sounds terrible so of course I will not fly out. I have cancelled my ticket and shall await your next email with more details.

Please do take care of yourself my darling and please contact me again as soon as possible.

All my love

Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I predict a riot - a reply from Carlos.

Oh dear. There seems to be riots in Sengal due to  President Abdoulaye Wade's announcement he would seek a third term, which the opposition says is unconstitutional. Bad timing for me to visit? Carlos thinks so. How very convenient for him!



Hello Sweetie,

This is just a short notice and i will write later tonight,you shouldn't  have to come here because is not safe there is ongoing riot in Dakar now i am always indoor now because the riot has claimed the life of so many people so cancel your air ticket. Here is the link of some of the things that is happening here...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-16830678


http://www.pretorianews.co.za/social-inequalities-fuel-anti-wade-protests-1.1226224


http://www.capitalfm.co.ke/news/2012/01/riots-in-senegal-as-wade-cleared-for-third-term-bid/


Go through all this link and know what is happening here,so just go and cancel your air ticket right away.I am in danger here no movement.I will mail you later.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A reply to Carlos - Humping dogs saved my life!

I thought I would let Carlos sweat for a bit! I wonder how he will feel about having a lunatic for a brother-in-law and the fact that I am about to turn up at his hotel and drag him back to England?




Hello Carlos my wonderful and understanding fiance.


Oh what a day monday turned out to be! I went for my hospital appointment at 9:30am like I told you. All is well with my stump. It's healed really well and within a few weeks I should be able to start wearing a false foot. I am thinking about having one with both our names inscribed on it. How romantic would that be eh Carlos?

Anyway after the hospital I made my way to the prison where my brother John is currently incarcerated. I do try to get to visit him as often as possible but haven't been for a while due to the pig/foot related incident. He was overjoyed to see me Carlos, he always is. He does love his little sister!! I told him all about you Carlos, how wonderful you are, how virile and Mexican. I was full of excitement about our upcoming wedding and told John all about my plans, me in my huge , floaty dress and you in your top hat and tails.

Well, what happened next was somewhat of a surprise! He became very very angry Carlos. John started hitting his fists against the table and saying that he hated you. "No greasy mexican man is taking my sister away from me." I was shocked! I asked him to calm down but he just got more and more irate. The next minute, he stood up and flung the table up in the air and started screaming that he was going to kill you! I tried to explain that I wouldn't be going anywhere and that you would come to live with me and that all woud be fine. Well Carlos, he was not having any of it! He went completely insane, throwing chairs and tables about and running around like a lunatic. He then made a lunge for me, grabbing me and dragging me into a corner shouting "You're mine! No-one is taking you away from me." I was terrified Carlos. He is my brother and I love him dearly but I was scared.

The prison guards ushered everyone else out of the visiting room and called for the govenor to come and try and resolve the situation. He sat and talked to him but he wouldn't let me go. He then started rambling on and on about the aliens again and how you were an alien and not really a mexican love god. He said he'd had a vision that you'd been sent to earth to mate with me and produce half alien half human babies that were destined to take over the world. He was saying such dreadful things. It was terrible to hear and upset me greatly. Well we sat there for hours and hours with him muttering on and on. Then the strangest thing happened. The one window in the visiting room looks out onto a large grassed area. Two dogs wandered across the grass, sniffing each other and playing a game of chase. Then as dogs often do, one mounted the other and started humping it! John saw this out  of the corner of his eye and started to giggle. He let go of me, jumped up and ran to the window. "Look, dogs humping!" he shouted, laughing as he said it! That's the thing with humping dogs, you don't want to look but you are compelled to do so and I defy anyone not to laugh!! So, as John stood there giggling like a child, the guards managed to overpower him and drag me to safety. To say I was relieved was an understatement.

The guards were ever so nice to me. They made me a cup of tea and even gave me a bun to go with it. John now has to undergo a series of psychological assesments and may have to be moved to a top security  phsychiatric institution for his own safety. I forgive him though and understand his jealousy as I am all he has left in the world. I do hope having a dangerous, mentally unstable brother in law won't put you off marrying me Carlos.

I was quite shaken up after the whole incident and have decided that I could do with a short holiday. So guess what Carlos? I have decided to kill two birds with one stone and come out to Senegal!!  Yes Carlos, I am coming out there to be with you!!  I have booked my plane ticket. I leave London Heathrow at 10:25am tomorrow and arrive in Dakar at 19:45. As I have the address of the hotel you are staying in, I shall make my way there to come and be with you!! I will pay your outstanding bill and then we can transfer back to the Raddisson Blu hotel that you were previously staying in as that sould much nicer. I thought I may stay for 5 days so we are both booked on the  10:17am flight back home on Thursday. I am just so excited Carlos. Finally we get to meet! I have printed off the pictures you sent me so I know who I am looking for! I really hope you will be wearing your cowboy hat as I find you utterly irresistable in it!!

So there you go Carlos, finally, tomorrow we will be in each others arms where we belong. It's been a long time coming but it feels so right. I know we will be good together and that this is just the start of something wonderful.

See you tomorrow Carlos!!!


All my love Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Guess who's getting married?!! - A message from Carlos!

Oh the joys!! Carlos has agreed to marry me! I do wonder if he knows what he is getting himself into here. He's finally agreed to allow me to pay his hotel bill. One problem, a quick google search doesn't bring up any results for said hotel and he didn't provide me with an address for it either. For a relatively clever scammer, he doesn't always thinks things through properly!


Hey Sweetie,

Thanks for your mail the content was clearly understood,i can see that your key board has broken because there are so many missing alphabet but i did manage to understand all you said,i am recovery from my cold because i took some pills,regarding the account issue that i made mention of London,i worked with Kain Construction for almost 6 months in London so during that period i lived in London and have an account set up in Barclay's bank but unfortunate i empty everything and the other  account i have here in Chesterfield,i have nothing left on it so everything is zero.

I have been thinking about my situation after reading your mail because losing that huge amount that i have spent will jeopardize my future,i don't want to be a burden to you,i am not a lazy type i work out so much,i have a daughter who need my help so i should put all my responsibility on you? I want you to know that i love you so much that is why i am fighting hard to meet you,i can't refuse your offer because you are working hard to rescue me from this situation that i am facing

Will you marry me? The answer to the question is YES You are not a fool it is good to always open up and say our mind so that we can know how to handle any situation that might arise,i so much like your openness and boldness,i can't be devoting my time for something that will not work out,i so much and willing to get married for us to live together and share every moment together,i must confess to you i have not had this kind of feelings for anyone you really touch my heart,i have made up my mind  now to come over as you promise to share everything with me,by the way how will you assist me to pay the hotel bill? Here is info of the hotel

Hotel Name:  LA RAVEN

Name of the Manager:TESLIME NOUREDINE NDIAYE

His office direct line:+221301074783

Here is my Full Names: PEREZ  CARLOS

You can go ahead and book the air ticket so that i can come back to the UK as soon as possible,i am missing you terribly and i want to be with you,the feelings we have for each other are so strong and when we meet soon God will help us through, how was your weekend? for me i did not have much to do this people actually set me back with the account issue and  which i was not expecting but in all i have learnt to give thanks to God.for he's everything and he delighted in giving praise in any situation.He has played a big role in our getting to meet, our love for each other our understanding and commitment to each other.I know it is very hard on me right now but i do believe somehow God will see me through,I truly appreciate your love and support.Have a wonderful night.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A message from Carlos - he doesn't want me to pay his hotel bill.

The ungratefull sod! I offer to pay his hotel bill and pay for a plane ticket and he says no! All he wants is the bank account set up fees. If he doesn't get it sorted, his life will be in danger. Oh dearie me!! Do I sound unsympathetic?

Hey Sweetie,

Thanks for your mail the content was clearly understood,this year weather is really terrible it must be a terrible situation for the sheep,it really nice of you to get them a place to live. Thanks for your offer it really a good idea for you to get my hotel bill to be paid,i must be open to you because you are part of my life,i have nothing left on my account in London,i empty the account so that i can be able to meet up all the expenses here in Senegal so if i should return without having this account fixed it will be a hard situation for me because i still have so many bills to pay when i am back home so where will i get the money? I explain my situation to the hotel manager so sympathized with me so he is willing to let me stay pending the time things will be sorted out.

I know that your money  is tied up in business accounts but try to see what you can do to help me with the set up fee so that i can set up the account.If the account issue is sorted out then i can have access to money so when i come back to London i will not suffer anything, without this my life will be in danger. Honey i never think of changing my career but if that should happen it must be after the contract,if we meet we can discus about about working for you.You just try your best to help me,looking forward to your mail.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A reply to Carlos - I can't send him any money as the sheep have it all.

I thought I had better reply and put Carlos out of his misery. I can't pay his bank fees as all my spare cash has gone to help rebuild the sheep refuge. I will however arrange for his hotel bill to be paid and send him a return air ticket as soon as he send me the details. I have even offered him a job!


Hey Carlos

Oh what a mad couple of days I have had. I went to the sheep sanctuary as I said in my last email and they had  had a disaster of epic proportions. We have had some terrible weather over here, torrential rain and gale force winds and the refuge had taken a real battering. Lots of the fences and shelters had been blown down and the sheep were all over the show. What could I do? I couldn't see all the sheep homeless and in danger so I agreed for them to come and live in my garden! Yes, I know I am mad but I love the little fellows so much that I just couldn't say no. I also made a sizeable donation to the refuge to enable them to rebuild it all but bigger and better. It's left me rather short of free income now. Don't get me wrong Carlos, I have money but it is tied up in business accounts and the like, I am sure you undersatnd all about such matters.

With regard to your current situation Carlos. Unfortunately, due to the payment to the refuge I don't have access to much actual cash at the moment. I can't send you any money to set up the account but what I can do is arrange for your hotel bill to be paid. If you send me all the details of where you are staying, the name, address, phone number and managers name of the hotel in which you are staying I can  make sure you do not suffer the embarrassment of an unpaid hotel bill. I could also arrange to have a plane ticket booked in your name for you to collect at he airport enabling you to come back home.  I hate the thought of you out there, alone and ill. I need to get you back home to England as soon as possible. Then when you are back here we can address the matter of getting the money transferred for the contract. I do still have a bad feeling about it all Carlos. I am sure it is not all as it seems.

Have you ever thought of a change of career Carlos? I would be honoured if you came to work for me. As you are good at construction type stuff, I could pay you to come and rebuild the Sheep refuge. I am usre you would make an amzing job of it.

I have to go now Carlos, things to do and all that! I do hope you start to feel better soon. Get plenty of sleep and drink lots. Please don't forget to send me your hotel details nd I shall arrange for the bill to be paid and send you the planeticket back home.

All will be well Carlos because I love you and will rescue you from your misfortune,


All my love forever


Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Another message from Carlos - He's feeling sad :(

Another email today.  Poor Carlos is feeling  sad as he has to stay in and has nothing to do. He really needs me to lend him some money to set up the account.  I think I may offer him some advice on how to amuse himself instead!!

Hello Sweetie,

Thanks for your mail and i am glad to hear from you again you make my day and you makes me happy, each mail from you is always a plus to my life its stare the happiness inside of me at least to know that someone cares so much about me. Honey no one can con me here i do study properly every document before paying for is,base on the agreement signed between the company and i,the expenses has to be taken care off by me,i am not their staff if i am then the company will be the one to responsible for every expenses,i am on contract basis so i am the one to care for my expenses. No people can take advantage of me don't just worry about that,all i need is to complete my part and allow the company to play their role.As you may know that Africa is a poor continent and they raise money through tax and payment for any document,all what i spent here in getting all the documents are for the Government not for the  company this is what you have to understand. I knew quite alright that at the end of the contract i will have much money to invest for myself,the only problem i am having now is the amount required by the bank for the setting up of the account,once i set up the account the project fund will be transferred to the account.

I am not happy the way things are going,i only made one week payment so i have to pay for more days now as i am over staying otherwise the hotel manager might ask me to leave,i have to do something quickly and check out of the hotel to avoid embarrassment,i want you to do me a favor by lending me some money to set up an account,i will send the money back to you as soon as i am through here.I am just indoor today again without doing nothing i feel sad about my situation here,please try all you can to lend me the money,i know for sure everything will work out.

I think we have a great start and would love for us to continue along this journey we have begun just learning about each other and loving each other.  When i read your mail it brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face.Looking forward to your mail.

Lots of love to you Baby and a whole bundle of kisses and warm, tender hugs.
 
Longing to be in your arms to just cuddle up with you.
Carlos.

A quick message to Carlos.

Just sent a quick message to Carlos so he knows I haven't forgotten about him. I have completely ignored his pleas for money!


Hello again my darling Carlos

Oh dear! It doesn't sound like you are having a very good time of it out there. I have a very bad feeling about this work contract you have. I hate to say it Carlos but I fear this is all one big con. Are you absolutely sure that there is actually a job for you at the end of it? No reputable company would expect you to pay so much money out of your pocket for hotel bills and documentation. I have have a very bad feeling that someone is trying to con you Carlos :( This makes me so sad and so very very angry. People or companies who try to take advantage of others for financial gain are the lowest of the low. If I were you I would just jump on the next plane back home and get someone to investigate this company.

Right Carlos, I have to go now as I have to pay visit to the Sheep refuge. They are having a few difficulties that I have promised to help out with. I shall email you again later this evening as I have a very busy day.

Chin up Carlos and remember that our TRUE LOVE FOR EACH OTHER will carry us through any hurdles we may face. Nothing can take that way from us.

Love you always

Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Second begging message from Carlos!

The second messge today from Carlos. Bless him, he's stressed and has nothing to do. Poor love!!


Hello Sweetie,

How are you doing today?I guess you are doing good,i am indoor throughout the day as i do not have anything to do,this account issue is really stressing me,i have no means to raise this money,my hotel bills are accumulating honey please try to see what you can do to lend me  the 435 pound sterling so that i can set up the account. Looking forward to your mail.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A message from Carlos ~ Finally, he's asked for money!!

Oh Carlos! What took you so long? We all knew what you wanted ~ money!! Well sorry to tell you, but you're not getting any no matter how much you love me!!

 

 

 

Hello Sweetie,

 

Thanks for your lovely mail,i am very careful on what i do here so there is no way people can corn me here deceive me,the fact of the matter is that i have to set up bank account here to enable the construction company transfer the project fund to me since the contract will take place here in Senegal.I am not going to lose anything thing the only thing now is to set up bank account,when  i got to the bank they showed me so many kind of account but the one i can receive such large amount of money cost the sum of  350,000 Cfa in their currency here which is equivalent to 435 pound sterling,i am overstaying here now and the longer i stay the more my hotel bills accumulate please and please try to help me with the said amount i will send the money back once the construction company transferred the fund to my account here,i am sorry for asking you for help just that things didn't work out they way i plan it,i never think i of spending such huge amount of money but i know that things will be fine,just try to see what you can do for me tomorrow so that i can set up the account,if you need my information to send the money to me do let me know so that i can send it to you.

 

Honey i think it will be a great pleasure for you to come to the airport to pick me up,wow this is what i have in mind to tell you before but i feel you might not be able to do that for me but to my greatest surprise you wrote me what i have in mind that mean our minds are working in the same direction.You are my best friend right now. I trust you with all my heart and that is why I am comfortable telling you so much about me and feel comfortable talking to you about my private life and anything that affects me. I also feel that it is the very reason that you tell me about anything that affects you too. Every conversation we have is underlined with a bold red line that speaks to trust and confidentiality. You are a good listener and for you to spend so much time corresponding with me and providing advice when I need it is more than I anticipated when I first met you. You have proven to be a wife and a best friend and for this I love you more. I can see that we are a perfect match, and all I ask of you is that we remain true to each other. I pray every day for God's blessings and his guidance and direction on our relationship because I believe that God has great plans in store for us. Indeed he knows our thoughts and our plans and will give us the grace and strength to reach every milestone we set ourselves.

Love and kisses,

Carlos.

A reply to Carlos - a bit of dogging fun?

I feel it is my duty to question that amount of money the bank is wanting for the set up fees for Carlos's account. It does seem extorionate. I do hope he takes me advice.
Good afternoon my darling Carlos.

It was a joy to hear from you as always. My day is going well thank you for asking! I haven't actually done very much today to be honest. I had a bit of a lazy morning laid on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle!! Don't hold that against me please Carlos lol! I don't usually watch old Jezza but I was flicking around the channels and just got drawn into it. Honestly, some of the people who go on these kind of shows are unbelievable. There was this one woman who had fallen in love with a man who had told her that he was some kind of African prince. He said his father had been killed in some kind of military uprising and that he had inherited all his money but needed her to help him get it. She ended up sending him thousands of pounds and he turned out to not even be a prince or anything! Can you believe that? How can someone be so stupid eh? She seemed a very sad, lonely woman Carlos. I felt quite sorry for her.

I am so glad that I have you Carlos as I know you are an honest man who's life is built on truth and integrity. You have never pretended to be someone that you are not. You are hard working and a good father to your daughter and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I dream of the days we will spend together, in love, in each others arms. Do you think your daughter would eventually call me mummy?

It saddens me to hear you are so stressed out there. Are you sure this job is worth all the stress and hassle? With regard to the account you need to set up, I am a bit confused. Why can't the construction company just  put the money into your ordinary bank account? It does seem a lot of messing about just to get your money refunded. Plus the bank fees of £435,784 seems an extorionate amount of money. Are you sure you got the decimal point in the right place Carlos? 435 thousand, 784 pounds can't be correct surely? I think they are trying to rip you off if that's the case. My advice to you would be to tell the construction company to pay the money into your ordinary bank account and have done with. If they refuse, you should take them to the small claims court and get your money back that way. You really do need to be careful Carlos. There are so many unscrupulous people out there, including companies that will con money from you with empty promises of work etc. Please do be careful my darling man.

So Carlos, when do you arrive back in England? If you like, I could come and meet you at the airport. It would be a pleasure to drive you back home after a long flight. Don't worry if it's a late flight as if it's dark when we drive back we could always do a bit of a detour past some of the local dogging sites. Don't worry, I don't want to take part or anything ( I am not a pervert!) I just like to throw cans of Chum and some Winalot at the cars! A bit immature I know but you should see them jump!! It's truely hillarious!!

Right my dearest darling Mexican sex god, I really must go. I have a mountain of paperwork to attend to that won't sign itself!

Take care my sweet and look forward to hearing from you soon.

All my love and devotion forever

Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A message from Carlos - he's run out of money and has to pay bank fees!

He's on the verge of asking for some money! About bloody time too lol! Poor Carlos has run out of money and needs to pay for bank fees. He hasnt asked me yet but it's only a matter of time :) But all is well because he loves me!!



Hello Sweetie,

How is your day going over there? I guess is fine with you. Today's process was a bit hectic,i am stressed up in fact is not so easy getting document here,i spent almost 3000 pound sterling today in fact i am financially exhausted,after getting the remaining document today i went straight to the bank to set up an account to enable the construction company transfer the part of the project fund to me but i could not succeed in setting up the account because i was ask to pay the set up fees which is   this is equivalent to 435.784. I am confused right now because i don't have any money left with me now i never think i can spend that much but things didn't work out the way i plan it,this is the only thing that is delaying me right now.

As for my daughter i have not concluded yet but when i come back home i will decide on what to do,i will get the project started on 27th of February and it will last for 1 year,since rescheduled the dinner party for next week it will be a great opportunity for me to be there with you,i only need to sort out this account issue and come back. I am counting days now for our meeting.

You mean so much to me and I am so excited that soon we will be able to meet. You have truly struck a chord in me,there is something about you that tells me you are a genuine and loving person. It is for that reason that I trust you and would want to move forward into a healthy a loving relationship with you.

Carry these words in your heart.  I LOVE YOU

Kisses and hugs always
Carlos.

Message two from Carlos today he's spending so much money.

Carlos has been busy getting his document and spending  lots of his money. Poor boy will be skint soon!!


Hello Sweetie,

Sorry for my late response,i have been so busy for the past 2 days in fact its not so easy getting document here,i have to move from one office to another in fact yesterday was so tough i spent almost 3,200 Pound sterling,i just have to give thanks to God that things are going fine. I will get the rest documents tomorrow,have a wonderful Sunday.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A message from Carlos Pam Ayres has made me romantic!

Wow! A long and detailed email from Carlos today. It's scary how he actually reads what I tell him! I am so relieved that he is not embarrassed about my talk of lady parts lol! I'm quite concerned about Carlos though as he appears to be physically different from other humans. He has more than one heart! "my heart they beat so fast". Poor Carlos. He'd better take it easy.

Hi sweetie,

How are you doing today hope fine? You just told me you had a mishap that landed you at the hospital ,i am so sorry about that i think you need to be very careful when cooking and get things done properly i really wish i was around to help you get few things done. I was a bit worried when i didn't get to read from you,but its alright at least i got to read from you which i consider very important.
You can tell me more about your boiler been broken lol, that is tough babe its cold right now you really need to get that done fast, have you hosted the dinner or you were about to do that? i didn't get that straight, more so babe i love more of Pizza to hummus, i think i love the magaritta Italian type of it, meanwhile i think you really spend time in the kitchen babe mmmmmmm, that's good honey i can't wait to have that taste of delicious meal from you, it will be great to watch you do that in the kitchen.

One of the things that has really amazed me about you was the fact that you are a very hardworking woman and guess what i love that dearly, it is good for one to have a romantic life and be committed to he or she does, i do think you are a perfect woman for me, we'll definitely get to meet soon babe and we can move on with our greater future.you have really touched my heart in a unique way, your mentality and understanding about relationship is something i cherish so much, honey at my age i can't be that embarrassed about you telling me about your intimate lady parts. i really wish i was there watch you do that,you are a very funny person and i can tell you that i am enjoying every moment with you, each mail from you has really hit me so good and i want to read from you again and again,honey love is strong and yet delicate, i was reading the mails we' ve exchange and all i could say was getting to meet you was a great privilege for me and i want to hold on to that for the rest of my life.
Honey in all things we just have to be thankful to God , probably he knew that will happen why that same day the engineer hath to come, just give thanks to God babe i really hope you are getting better now and you're using your drugs as prescribe by the doctor, i couldn't believe my angel fell on a marble and was there for 2 and half hours, I'm sorry about that babe, i guess one of the reason why we need to get together on time so we can get things done the way it ought to be.

mmmmmmmmmmm Pam Ayres i think she's a good writer and a broadcaster and i think since you made that recomendation babe i think i need to read more of her poem, i think i can now figure our why you were more romantic, and fun to be with and i can tell again and again honey i truly want to continue this awesome moment with you continue till we finally meet.

You know sweetie i wish dream were like wishes, and wishes came true, cause in my dreams i'm always with you,you know i read one of  Elizabeth Bowen poem and she says when you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.i can't just deny this feelings i have for you in my heart.you are such a pretty woman and i tend to spend the rest of my life with you pronouncing you will love me.honey there are many things i wanted to say, but i think words alone are not enough to really express how much i care for you,i just truly hope you can see through my mail, my heart they beat so fast longing to be with you.take care of yourself for me babe and always remember that this man loves you with all his heart.kisses all over you.
Have a wonderful and pleasant Sunday.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A message to Carlos - Deadly chickpeas and Pam Ayres.

I hate hummus!!!!


My darling Carlos.

I do apologise for my delay in replying to your last email. I had a bit of a mishap on wednesday morning which landed me in hospital until this morning. Sometime I think I must be the unluckiest person alive! It's a good job I have a positive outlook on life or I would have had a breakdown by now!

My heating boiler had broken so my house was rather cold. I had called the engineer on Tuesday and made an appointment for the following afternoon so I wasn't overly concerned. Wednesday evening I was hosting a dinner party for some potential new business connections so made an early start on the food preparation. Dips always go down well at such soiree's so I decided to make some hummus. Do you like hummus Carlos? In light of what has happened, I don't think I shall ever eat it again. Anyway, I gathered the chickpeas, tahini, garlic, lemon juice and oil and set to work. As I was putting the chickpeas into the blender a couple escaped and dropped to  the floor. I thought, "I'll pick those up later." and that my dear, was a near fatal error of judgement. I made the hummus which it galls me to say was utterly delicious and then made a start on some Mexican bean pasta (always reminds me of you when I eat that!!). I spent the next hour or so cooking this and that and then decided it was time for a bit of pampering.

Thankfully, in light of my recent pig related accident, I have a downstairs bathroom so off I popped to do a bit of intimate hair removal and the likes. First I put on a clay face mask, the type that dries hard and makes you look like ghost then got the hair removing wax out.  I balanced on the side of the bath and put the hot wax on my legs and lady bits! (hope that doesn't embarrass you Carlos, me talking about my most intimate lady parts) I needed to let the wax set a bit before applying the strips and ripping it off so I hobbled back into the kitchen on my crutches to get a quick drink before my face pack set too hard.  By this time I had completely forgotten about the chickpeas that had fallen to the floor earlier and unfortunately, one of my crutches made contact with them. The crutch slipped on the chickpeas and sent me flying across the kitchen floor in a move reminiscent Ann Widdecombe doing her very best on Strictly come dancing. I landed face down on the floor and thankfully didn't hurt myself. Now this was when it all became a bit tricky.

I have a beautiful, Italian marble tiled floor in the kitchen. Have you ever felt marble Carlos? It is notorious for it's icey cold touch and the tiles in my kitchen were even more so due to the lack of heating with the boiler being broken. As my exposed, wax covered flesh made contact with the tiles, the wax quickly changed temperture and began to set. Since my previous accident with the pigs, I am obviously not as mobile as I used to be so was struggling to get myself back up off the floor. My crutches had both gone sliding across the floor when I fell and were out of my reach. As I tried to pull myself up, I encountered a great deal of resistance. Carlos, the wax had set and I was stuck to the floor! I couldn't move the lower half of my body, my lady garden being firmly stuck to the tiles. I tried and tried but alas, all my efforts were in vain. All I could do was lay there, hoping that maybe a kindly neighbour would hear my cries for help and come to my rescue.

I laid there for 2 and a half hours in the cold with nothing but the Greatest Poems of Pam Ayres as chosen and read by Janet Street Porter on Radio 4 for company. I had forgotten what a work of utter genius "I wish I'd looked after me teeth" is!!  Then my saviour arrived in the form of the boiler engineer. Thankfully he heard my cries for help and saw me laid prostrate on the Italian marble, backside in the air and a face that made me look like an extra from Casper the friendly ghost!. He rushed in and cleverly used my hair dryer to melt the wax and free me from my embarrassment. He was such a dear and insisted that I go to hospital for a check up as by now, my skin was red raw and I was suffering from mild hypothermia. The hospital staf were amazing and kept me in until the morning to make sure I was fully recovered. The boiler man, bless him, went back to the house and sorted the boiler for me. I told him to help himself to the hummus as I felt physically sick at the thought of eating it now.

So Carlos, I am back home now a little sore and with a bruised ego but doing ok.  I hope your trip is continuing to be fruitful and that you are not making yourself too tired. If you  need to relax and switch off at the end of a busy day, I can thoroughly reccommend reading a bit of Pam Ayres. She truely is a lyrical genius!

Hope to  hear from you soon my darling.

Love  and kisses a plenty from your darling Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A message from Carlos - He's chattered a taxi!

Another email from the very keen Carlos. Again, lots of mentions about how much everything is costing him! I am actually still quite taken aback at the fact that he does actually read my emails and responds appropriately, unlike 'Justin'. I reckon he will go f or the kill in a day or two! I wonder how much he will need me to lend him?



Hello Sweetie,

How are you today hope you doing fine thanks a lot for your message i really appreciate it, i got back to my hotel not quiet long, so i rush to the bathroom to take a shower, the day was hectic, just like yesterday, the country is expensive and and you know i have to move around with taxi that i chattered for security purpose, but i thank God i got some document and that cost me about £2,175 pounds,Honey Senegal is a nice country and there are so many tourist attraction here but i have not able to visit any site but before i go back to the UK i will try and visit some site,i saw so many drums,musical instrument and sculpture at the city center in fact they are amazing. It it true that they have Museum the hotel manager brief me so many things about Senegal,i think is a nice place to visit,i saw so many people putting on a traditional cloth called Ganila,the hotel manager promise to take me to a lives show on Saturday where both men and women displaying their traditional dance. There is amazing site here called Goreé Island(Slave House) is a poignant reminder of Goreé's role as the center of West African slave trade.

It will be fun to do so many travel with you especially in Senegal and other part of Africa.,i will have to sleep early tonight because i have to wake very early morning tomorrow to continue with the rest document,as soon as i am through with all the document i will set up an account to enable the construction company transfer the the project money to me. Honey i am missing you terribly i can't wait to be with you and spend some quality time with you,have a wonderful night.
Love and kisses,
Carlos.

A message to Carlos - a bit of culture.

My reply to Carlos, advising him on some of the local culture!


Hey Carlos baby!!

I just logged on to email you and you had beat me to it! I was overjoyed to hear from you again.

I am so glad you arrived safely and that everything is going to plan for you. It certainly is an expensive time for you Carlos. I do hope the company you will be working for will refund you the money you have had to spend. If not, I fear you will be seriously out of pocket.

So, besides the business side of your trip, have you managed to see any of the sights in Senegal? I hear the The IFAN Museum is an amazing place to visit should you find yourself with some free time. Lively, imaginative displays show masks and traditional dress across the region (including Mali, Guinea-Bissau, Benin and Nigeria) and provide an excellent overview of styles, without bombarding you with more than you can take in. The museum is a testimony to former President Senghor's interest in promoting African art and culture. You can also see beautiful fabrics and carvings, drums, musical instruments and agricultural tools. Sounds fantastic doesn't it Carlos? I do so like a bit of culture. I hope that when we are finally together, that our lives will include many trips to museums, galleries and lectures.

Right Carlos, it is late and I too need to sleep. I have had a busy day doing a charity custard bath for the sheep refuge ( I raised £78.67, two buttons and a couple of chocolate coins)  and tomorrow I am meeting with some designers with a view to them fashioning some arms for my new venture.

Take care my darling sweet man. May tomorrow bring you love, luck and happiness in bucketfulls!

Your ever lovingand devoted Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A message from Carlos - what an expensive time!

I logged on to reply to Carlos's mail from yesterday but he had beat me to it! He's having a productive but expensive time in Africa. Tomorrow includes a visit to the local police station. What's betting he gets detained as he can't afford to pay for the paperwork!!


Hello sweetie,

My day was hectic babe i have to move from one office to another, moreover is a very expensive country is the most expensive in west Africa is a tourist country i guess one of the reason why is that expensive in an hotel where i lodged i am paying £120 pounds a day is 5 star hotel.one of the cheapest.and i was at the ministry of interior to get the legal document it wasn't easy getting those document and i don't want to stay longer than one week i spent about £1,560pounds to get those document and i have submitted them at the police headquarters for legalization i will continue from there tomorrow to get other required papers. very tired now babe i need a shower now and go to bed. love you babe and hope to hear from you.kiss you babe love you from the depth of my soul take care sweetie.love you.
Carlos.